This past weekend, Isla turned FOUR. My dearest - I had a beautiful post written out and then the stupid mouse feature where all you have to do is BARELY TOUCH THE GODDAMN THING and it flips back a page and EVERY IMAGE AND ALL MY TEXT was wiped clean and I almost threw the mouse at the computer (but did not as that would have been extremely stupid) so ... I'm starting over.
For starters, how is it that you're already four? Weren't you turning three a few minutes ago?
No - you're getting so big.
You call yourself an artist - "I'm an artist, mama, that's what I'm good at". If only we all had such confidence in ourselves.
You see yourself in the mirror and you only see beauty. You only see perfect. You only see potential and the knowledge that you can do and be and think and dream anything. I'd move mountains to keep that for you.
You have a sweet tooth and an equally salty one. Thankfully you still love most vegetables.
You love drawing and art and paint at least once a day.
You change clothes sometimes three times a day just because...you can.
Your favorite show is the Octonauts.
You love singing silly songs.
You ask for lip balm the minute we get in the car.
Clothes should be feminine - usually dresses, but sometimes you want jeans and a tee shirt.
Baby Mousie is still number one.
I know that this is the year, especially as you begin preschool - which I think you'll love, but you'll also not love because you SO do not like rules, that the doubts will creep in. You will taste rejection. You will be tested and you will see that the world can and does hurt at times. And sweetie, I'm here to help you keep your balance. For there is good in this world and I have to remind myself of that daily or else I'll let those waves go over my head and it's so hard to swim back up to the surface. I see a little of that in you and in your older brother. That sensitivity. That little bit of melancholy. The beautiful empathy. And as you venture out on your path a bit farther than you ever have before I will be interested to see how you lead yourself. And I will always be here to help you. And I will always love you.